I am having a procedure done tomorrow called a sphenopalatine ganglion block, aka SPG block. It involves a cathether going up my nose and squirting Lidocaine (an anesthetic) into the largest nerve collection in the head. It is supposed to numb these nerves that make me feel the pain. So that’s a new one to try that probably won’t help… But I have to try, right?
I have to be awake for it. Just thinking about being nasally violated makes me very nervous and uncomfortable. Take my blood, shoot Botox all up in my face and neck, I don’t care. I’ve never been really apprehensive about a new procedure until now. Something about this terrifies me. Maybe I’m feeling vulnerable lately. Perhaps it reminds me of a lobotomy, even though I know no one is going to poke me in the brain.
I called my neurologist to tell him that I am scared of this thing. I got a prescription for 5mg of Valium to take before they go in. I called back to say that I am still quite nervous and that 5mg isn’t very reassuring. I didn’t want to call back at first, for fear of sounding like a crazy drug seeker. Then I thought, fuck it, I’m just being honest and they should know me well enough now to know that I am not all that into prescription drugs. My tolerance is higher than most people.
I can’t seem to focus on anything today. I have no appetite and I feel restless, cold and sad. I’m usually tougher than this, aren’t I?
Migraine Party! 
Being tough has nothing to do with it. It’s invasive and you’re allowed to take it personally (because it IS personal). You never know, it might just work (here’s hoping). All the best for tomorrow.
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